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Mon, Apr. 18th, 2005, 01:46 pm

Attention everyone!

My mom got an LJ! I'm so happy! holymothermary

<3 U Mom!

Tue, Apr. 19th, 2005 03:41 am (UTC)

I see that you have befriended me oh Jesus~
*browses your interests on LJ* Why what a coincidence... I like anal sex too! AND alcohol! AND gay sex! Golly, I guess the gates of heaven wil open for me. I feel so liberated :P

So I have a question speaking of which... when the newly deceased souls kneel before Saint Peter at the gates of heaven, is it for the most obvious of reasons? *snickers* That must be why they address him as Peter?

Also I know there's some controversy regarding the relationship between your mom, your birth father & stepdad Joey. Do you plan on making any special appearances on Jerry Springer regarding that situation?

Tell mom I say hi! Glad she's an active part of the LJ community... is she into lesbianism? I just have this thing for sluts in veils ;) kinky.

Tue, Apr. 19th, 2005 04:05 pm (UTC)

Wow. Son, you have made some interesting friends.

Well, we are all god's children, which is kinda sick if you think about it, seeing as he impregnated me...

My son is way to classy for a show like Jerry Springer. He is booked for Ricky Lake.

Wed, Apr. 20th, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC)

True. I'd always observed that Ricki Lake caters more to the "dats mah baby daddy" type of thing anyway- you'll be the first non-african americans to appear for that topic on that show I'm certain.

So how was that one night stand with your father anyway?

Thu, Apr. 21st, 2005 05:00 pm (UTC)

Well, our family is closer to African then American. We are Arab, remember?

And one night stand my ass, God and I do it like they do on the discovery channel all the time. He is the Hugh Heffner of Heaven.

Thu, Apr. 21st, 2005 06:37 pm (UTC)

Yeah Madonna, work it girl!
Is it true what they say about his penis... you know, the whole mighty lightning rod thing.

I bet you I'm better in the sack than God- he's not kinky & he doesnt sin too much. That can put a damper on sexual relations.

Tue, Apr. 19th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)

If you have questions for jesus, or any other religous figures, that you need answered you should post them in askgodanything, a community that exsists for that reason exclusivly!

Wed, Apr. 20th, 2005 06:53 pm (UTC)

Aren't you supposed to be dead? & did you use Photoshop to remove the age spots in your user pic? :P

Thu, Apr. 21st, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)

Hey, what did i say about the questions. but since you asked them here, here are the answers:

Yes i am dead, and no, i used foundation.

Thu, Apr. 21st, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)

Well I posted stuff in the community! No one answered the questions though, its more fun here

Thu, Apr. 21st, 2005 11:15 am (UTC)

Hey...i just realized you listed me as a friend. Whats up?